Battling the Universe.

I have jumped back on the band wagon of  focusing on me  exercise.  It seems that I go through spurts of different interests and spurts of looking out for my health.  Hmm, just like the kids go through spurts of different foods that they like. Oh, so that’s where they get it from. Heh.

I get all crazy focused with my new exercise inspirations.  I do crazy things like run 4 half-marathons in 12 months or do religious spin classes, 3 days in a row for a year.

I love spin so much, I decided to take the ultimate in spin class, the Vicious Cycle class.  My favourite instructor, kick-your-ass-burpee-squat jump-stair running-20lbs hand weight for me-won’t let me slack a bit, Keisha.

Keisha’s classes are always full, so it is very important to arrive early.You must sign up, get your number, and then get a  working bike.

I knew that The Man had a hockey game wouldn’t be home in time  so I dragged the crabbies kiddies with me, promising endless colouring and endless video games at childminding.

Miraculously, I arrived 20 minutes early.  Not surprisingly, I forgot something.  Not my children, not my water bottle, not my towel (which really is an essential item for my sweaty spin-self).

I forgot my gym card with my attached specialty class card for spin.

I double-checked that I had my wallet with me.  YES,  I could just get the gym attendant to find me in the system with my ID.  Not a problem, I was found.

I know that she found me because all the new attendants laugh when they see my picture.

Caught Laughing.

The gym staff refuse to let me change my chubby wubby face pic because of, well, the laugh.  Brendan gym rat trainer believes it captures my gym presence so perfectly.   You know, the Laugh, it happens a lot at the gym.

I just believe it captures my 15lbs ago-self.

As I wait for my number to display on my spin bike, I am completely dumbfounded when I am refused the class because I don’t have my paid for unlimited spin card pass on me.  I ask politely for my lovely gym attendant to check my account, as my impatient colourer and video gamer start dancing around with those darn ants in their pants.

I am hit with this “I’VE NEVER heard of an unlimited card.  It’s not showing up on your account”. I try to explain, that my forever spin classes were ‘grandfathered’ in my gym deal as I used to pay an extra $10 a month for unlimited classes.

Another brick wall of no emotion and I get “WELL i’m JUST doing my job!”.

OK, I understand that but do you NOT see the squirrely children starting to fight, as they turn on each other for having to wait for their rewards of endless colouring and video games galore?!  

Of course she doesn’t has her uterus has just experienced Menstruation for the first time.  Kids are just annoying to her at  this time in life.

“I understand but I really don’t want to have to drag my children back home just to get a card.  Can I bring it in next time, or later even.  I really don’t want to miss this class” I said in my nicest, sweetest, sympathetic sing-song voice possible.

What I really wanted to yell  say was:

As it took a HELL of a time to get here, convincing my 4 and 6 year old to come, while plying their tummies with granola bars and snacks as bribes!  I also don’t want to have to drag the children to the car, answering the million WHY are we leaving questions and the million WHERE are we going  questions, I didn’t get to colour or play games, I don’t want to leave Mommy!, buckle them up, boot it home, run-in to the house, convince the children to wait for me, and convince children that they do not want to go in and watch cartoons, boot it back to the gym, then come back and TRY to find a parking spot that requires less than a 10 minute walk closely dragging children with me again through an over-crowded busy parking lot -full of steroid angry fitness freaks late for their posing practice, who might run over my children if I do not hold them with a anaconda’s death-grip!

But I didn’t say that and I received no sympathy as I was forced to go home and retrieve my pass and convince MYSELF that I really do want to go back to the gym and try to make Keisha’s class.

I came back.  Showed my card to a now-sympathetic-concerned-that-I-will-rat-fink-on-her-the-inconviencing-gym-attendant, who has now obviously FOUND the thing on my account as she proclaims that she has put a note on the account to look further into my membership and that I WILL not have any issues in the future.

I made it into the class, just in the nick of time.  Adrenaline.  It is a super awesome motivator for having a great spin class.

I completed the class and my antsy monkeys got to endlessly colour and game the hour away.

Universe, why must we battle?




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