Nanny Poaching

For the love of Nanny J

A post that I haven’t published from the Spring but thought I should now.

It wasn’t until someone told me what day it was, that something sparked the hamster wheel in my head.  There was something about this date that was nagging me!?!   Hmm? Why does this date have some sort of significance?!  Then I remembered.   The lil’monkee’s swim lessons were to have started on Monday morning.

It was Tuesday afternoon.  Total Mom Fail.

Usually the pool calls to remind us somewhat forgetful parents if their children do not show up for their first lesson. This time they did not.

On Wednesday, I had to embarrassingly tell our Nanny the kids were in lessons.  They were to have started on Monday. I also had no idea who their teacher was and that it may be a gong show as this was Easty’s first time doing lessons solo & it has been forever since Jackson has gone.  I would be getting off work in the middle of their lessons, so I told Jen that I would meet her at the pool.

When I got to the pool, I found Nanny & Jackson.  Easty had already started her lessons.  There was another woman talking to Nanny & smiling.  Nanny told me that Easty was shy at first but then she warmed up right away to the teacher.

We were still talking when the woman that was talking to Nanny earlier shoved her phone into her face.  She then instructed Nanny for her number.  A little startled, Nanny kind of said OK and then typed in her number.  I asked Nanny if she had knew her? I mean a 21 year old girl usually doesn’t associate with a late 30-something mom.  Nanny said no but that she was inquiring if Nanny wouldn’t mind working a day for her as I guess she had already figured out Nanny didn’t work full-time. WHAT?!?

I immediately said YOUR NOT LEAVING US ARE YOU!

Nanny reassured me that she wasn’t but really there is no guarantee.  She looked completely uncomfortable but then I said that it’s not that I can make you do anything but I would feel uncomfortable about you working with another family.  Nanny J assured me that she only gave her number as she felt pressured.

Luckily, in this case Nanny J stayed with us and the other women failed to poach Nanny J.

Finding childcare is a chore, a chore that I and many other working parents find stressful.  It’s basically one of the reasons I would become a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM).  I am a parent who starts looking well ahead of the time, using resources from Options, The Shorty List, to word-of-mouth reviews.  I found our nanny through an agency.  You basically pay an agency to supply you with individuals who want to be nannies.  That’s it.  You have to call them, interview them, meet with them, review their resumes, contact their references, and get them criminal reference checked, ON YOUR OWN.  You also have to take the time to train them, if they have no experience and help them with strategies for different, challenging child behaviours.  This process can take months.

Why am I paying a fee again?

It’s a process.  It’s a process that takes time and it’s not something that you can do overnight, well unless you just don’t care who takes care of your children.  So, when I was about to be poached, I totally shot the stink-eye to the woman the next time I saw her and subsequently there-after.  The would-be poacher mom, tried to friendly smile me thereafter but I remained stone-faced and unfriendly towards her.  Hey, she tried to mess up our family.  I look at our nannies as parts of our family and they will always be family to me.

I walked into Easty’s ballet class one day and WHAMMO there she was, she had just registered her one daughter.  She tried being friendly with me but I put up my own Berlin wall, giving curt answers to her overly enthusiastic friendliness to me.  She of course asked if I had that wonderful nanny still working for us,   I gave her that “I know you tried to steal my nanny” look and “you knew it was wrong” look, and replied yes.  I then informed her that if she was looking for a nanny, she might try the agencies that I contacted.  I then informed her of the process of it all, just in case she was interested.  After a couple of weeks, she must have changed classes or dropped her daughter out, because she wasn’t there again.  I later informed any mom who I knew about what that woman tried to do.

I had been warned of the Nanny Poachers by some other moms but at the time, I just didn’t believe it really happened.

I am about to give information that needs to be shared ONLY to make you aware and NOT to be used to completely sneak behind an unassuming Mom’s back and poach their Nanny.  Those who use this information for evil nanny poaching will be cursed and judged by the universe of mommy karma.

The would be poachers witness how the nanny is with your children and if they like them, they nicely work up a conversation and find out what hours the nanny works.   They innocently ask if the nanny would like to make extra money babysitting or picking up a day.  Once they see how they are with the children and if they like the nanny, the would-be poachers up the wage or hours or whatever they think will get the nanny to leave their current family.  Sometimes this involves slowly gaining their trust and then prying away at information about the family, and eventually bad-mouthing the current family until the only thing to do is leave to the poacher family.

Usually, if this does happen, it’s the Nanny Diaries with Scarlett J. all over again.  The Nanny Poacher family usually is the nightmare family.  Basically, if they have no respect, morals, or conscious to poach a families nanny, then they usually have none of these attributes for their now poached nanny either.

Be warned future and current nannies.

Be warned future and current families who have nannies.

How desperate for childcare have you been?  Have you ever been a victim of a nanny poacher?  Have you ever poached a nanny because you think they are being mistreated?  What are your thoughts on this subject?



  1. I had someone try to poach my nanny as well. Luckily she told me. I’m kind of glad I don’t know exactly who the mom is, because I don’t know if I could hold my tongue, and I live in a very small neighbourhood!

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