That’s Queen Bum Bum to You!

Butt, Arse, Buttocks, Ass, Tooty, Tushie, Booty, Rear-end, Hiney, Business Class, Back-door, Badonkadonk, Balloon Knot, Batty, Behind, Can, Onion, Patootie, Whoopie Cakes….

….all don’t measure up to BUM in the Monkee abode.

Lately I am living with a bunch of little monkee comedians who only have one joke, that never seems to get old, to them.  It’s like David Letterman all over.  Just keep saying it and eventually someone is going to laugh, just by the sheer repetition of it all.

I just heard it again. “Swiper stop Bum Bum swiping!” Another sentence interjected with Bum Bum. “School was Bum Bum great Mom. I learned to Bum Bum write my name!” Laughter and giggles galore.

“Let me kiss your bum bum!” Then squeals of laughter. “I want some bum bum milk”. Laughter.

“Hey, Daddy, you’re a Bum Bum Daddy!” More laughter. This time uncontrollable. So uncontrollable that it makes you laugh.  Kid belly laughter is pretty awesome.

Last night when the kids were in the bath, I heard Easty just busting a gut, laughing so hard.  I looked up to see what all the hilarity was, it was another joke relating to bums.

There was Jackson with nothing but his Bum Bum sticking straight up like a periscope on a submarine. Well at least I know those swimming lessons are paying off, he can actually breathe underwater for quite a while.  It should have a disclaimer at the bottom: This Bum Bum joke was sponsored by Easty’s non-stop uncontrollable laughter. I even took a picture, that I WILL NOT share, but will perhaps use as blackmail if he ever becomes a non-compliant teenager.

It’s not just their Bum Bums that are funny.  I can’t even get changed without someone pointing out that I have a Bum Bum.  Yes, chicklets, EVERYONE has one. Still it is so funny that, “Mommy has a Bum Bum!”. I have tried locking the bathroom  door, only to have little monkees peek underneath to say that they can see the Almighty Mom Bum Bum.

So of course, I have to get into the act, “That’s QUEEN Bum Bum to you lot!”.  Cue uncontrollable laughter.

Then they have to repeat. Over and over and over again. I created a monster of Bum Bum jokes now. Now Daddy is King Bum Bum. Again. Cue the uncontrollable laughter.

This is all fun and dandy, then you have to leave your house, where Bum Bum jokes just don’t stop.  I have gotten quite the looks from adults, say in their ’50s and over.  You know that look, the one that scrunches up your face like a Shar-pei wrinkle dog.  Even though we try not to laugh, or encourage it, we have already complied with the Bum Bum at home, so there is no stopping now.  Gosh, I thought the Knock Knock jokes would never stop. I guess that I will have to suck it up, keep my pants on and wait for this Bum Bum stage to be over.

Jackson is currently the funniest person he knows, even though…

Everyone’s a Comedian in this house.

What do you think about the word Bum? Do you think it’s wrong to use it in front of young children? Do you think it’s inappropriate that young children use it?


  1. That’s funny, it’s bum bum funny…cue laughter!!!

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