Friends

I guess it takes a lifetime to make friends, as it feels like I am always learning lessons from friendships.

I still wonder why some friends stay and other just don’t stand the test of time. It’s never the same. It could be someone that I bonded with RIGHT away or someone that I knew that eventually grew into a good friendship.

One thing that stays the same, is that I am always wanting to make new friends.

I have people state, “I have enough friends, I don’t need to have anymore, it’s too much work making new friends”. That always dumbfounds me. You can have enough? I do understand what they mean by work. I personally enter into a friendship, giving that person the benefit of the doubt but sometimes it’s hard. I mean I won’t blindly trust someone fully & completely, I HAVE been burned before, but it is work getting to know someone & until I do I presume that they have the best of intentions.

Lately, due to blogging I have been welcomed & helped by so many great blogger friends such as The Dad Jam and Rants and Rascals. I have always classified myself as a “phone” person but lately I have had to balance that out with twitter & email. I like to talk to people live but sometimes that isn’t a possibility.

Where I get confused is when someone is really friendly with me online but not when I see them IRL (In Real Life)!?!? I am always who I am, IRL or online. How does one change? Then I realized that sometimes people are just more comfortable online. I know that both My Man and my Brother are not phone guys. My SIL & I always commiserate with each other over having to always be the one to call/order for pizza delivery.

I was recently at a wedding of one of my good friends, from way back when I was Head Serving Wench at the BlarneyStone in Gastown.  We still talk on the phone & Facebook but we haven’t connected in a long time. Still The Man and I were invited to the wedding.  Still, I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.  There The Man and I ran into other faces that I had not seen for quite some time.  It was like nothing had ever changed in our friendships, except time. Then I questioned the theory.  It is because these friends were male?  I immediately shot down that theory, my other friends have been friends for just as long and they are women. Is it because we experienced so much together? Or was it just a special time in our lives for all of us.

It does seem though, that more drama usually comes from friendships with women. Why is that? Is it our estrogen-hormonal gene make-up. Ask a man or even my Man and they will probably say yes. Personally, I don’t think it’s competition because I AM SO ELATED when my good friends are successful & doing well in their lives. I want everyone to be happy! Is that insane of me or what?

What do you think makes your friendships last or grow apart?

Comments

  1. Hmmm boys can be girly in their friendships and that is proven for me this year with my oldest! It is a crazy dynamic in gr. 3 so I think once men grow older yes, but boys NOT TRUE! I think us women need to stick together but do agree sometimes friendships are hard! Esp. hate it when women say they don’t like other women!! What? Live in a house of males like I do and you would know we NEED each other!!!!

  2. I love you in person, your laugh is so infectious and I love how down to earth you are, able to take yourself in stride, such a real and genuine person. That’s a nice change from the dramatic prose many of my “friends” produce. Mind you as women yes we thrive on drama, I think it’s a nurturing thing, we like to solve problems even more than men in all seriousness. I don’t like to talk on the phone much, hurts my brain but I will with my friends, however online is where I do my best thinking and speaking lol.

    Great post Nae!

  3. I find that EVERYTHING takes work and that friend thing sadly gets pushed to the bottom of the list…..I was reminded how important that was when friends came to hang with us on Halloween..we used to make it a real little party and it was nice……reminded us that we are people beyond being parents and caught up in all that chaos!

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