The Runaways

Nope this is not a movie review of The Runaways movie with Kristen Stewart & Dakota Fanning. Although, I really felt like singing out that song,

I hate my-self for lov-ing yo-u.

This is about my own little Joan Jett & Cherie Currie. Except in this version, they are both Blond and Blue-eyed and they are under 4 feet, and the only similarity is that they both can run really, really fast, away from me.

I thought I would be happy to be done with strollers, now I just want to use one so I can legally restrain my hyper-happy-take-offers.

After a not-so-eventful day of vi sting my friend, a first-time mom-to-be, at 35 weeks pregnant at her home, where my son refused to go inside until Grandma bribed him with a future toy, or my daughter who kept smashing the baby gates into the walls, after I FINALLY pried her off of me, to only have her stick her tongue out to go Goo Goo Gaga for the whole time.

Oh how easily my girlfriend laughed, as I told her, well you know that saying “my children will never behave like that”. Heh.

After an hour of this torture of trying to have an adult conversation. We left and proceeded to the toy store. Well you know, my Mom PROMISED Jacksy a little toy & at this age, he’s NEVER going to forget something like that.

Starved, we hit the little 50’s diner in Zellers, empty, good kid’s menu, fast service.

All was proceeding swimmingly, until, Easty decided to go poop n’ pee in the washroom. After a successful trip, I guess she felt, well lighter, as the little runaway in her started.

She ran down the aisles, away from me, screaming like the giddy, lighter Easty she WAS now. After I caught her, and swung her over my shoulders like a sack of potatoes, she started screaming bloody murder, in a piercing pitch. To the delight of an older woman, who’s screwed up turnaround look, could never be described.

I commented plainly, “Well, she’s 2”. I love how I use her younger age in these situations, true that she is two but so, so, close to three.

I thought this was the end of the escapade, instead she bolted like a horse at Hastings racetrack and laughed like an mischievous Gremlin, throughout Zellers, and into the mall. Where her brother decided that he wasn’t getting enough of this attention, and proceeded to follow.

I almost raised both arms in the air and praised the Lord, as they paused momentarily at the Loonie Ride machines, which I usually LOVE to hate. But it didn’t last long enough, as they bolted again for ToyrUs, only to pause again at the new 2 piece kid whatchmacallit toy stop.

I snapped a couple funny pictures thinking this escapade was over, only to have them runaway down the mall towards the lenscrafters BUT instead of running through lenscrafters, they went to the optometrist side, ran past the receptionist into the last office, and then closed the door. All while screamingly, laughing, in that mischievous way.

As the working Optometrist came out of the other office, with a bewildered look on his face, I grabbed the little ring leader and flung her over my shoulder. Jacksy followed.

I was M-A-D. MAD.

I plunked the little runaways into their car seats, and happily buckled their little butts up.

My first-time mom girlfriend has NO IDEA. Muaaah-ha-ha.


  1. Yep! 1 year ago I was "clueless " myself ,monsters ! haha ,love my kid to death though !

  2. NaomiTanakaJesson says:

    Yes, I was SO the perfect parent Michael, until I had them. All you can do is laugh!


  1. It Happened. says:

    […] local Lenscrafters is also the scene of The Runaways crime so I thought it would be fitting to take them in to that Optometrist’s office. They ran […]

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