Going Going Gone just wish it was the Snaggle Tooth

I am NOTORIOUS, notorious for losing things, my keys, my wallet, and now my passport. Yes, you heard that correctly, my very important item needed for travel to Vegas next Sunday. Last place I had it was boarding my flight to Fredericton from Montreal. I know, I know, you don’t need a passport to travel within Canada but I hate having to remove my driver’s licence from its nice secure viewing window in my wallet.

And then there is the issue of my purse, it’s a hobo bag that is just one big, open, vast space, with one zippered pocket. I have already had issues with the magnetic sides, demagnetizing credit cards, bank cards, hotel room cards, and such. I had plans to go purse shopping in Vegas, maybe succumb to the fabulousness of Coach, ya right! I just can’t see its popularity surviving, even though I have been lectured on the lasting quality and style. SERIOUSLY? You think that those C’s all over are gonna stand the test of time in 10 years? I almost think its too late to buy one, because really, do I need a $300 something dollar bag, or would I like to send the kids to gymnastics?

Then there is my lost n’ found history. I had a great relationship with my landlord, because I was always calling him up at 3am to let me into the building, I worked at the Blarneystone as head serving wench, hence the 3am. Either I would lose my keys or leave them at work. I once broke the key in the lock, and then a sign promptly stated that, Please do not open front door using the key, Pull the handle, Naomi this means you.

I once drove away from a grocery store, while leaving my wallet on the side of the truck’s pickup bed. We drove back when we realized, but it wasn’t there. Luckily, a good Samaritan found it and called us that night, luckily, this is when we were living in North Vancouver, not you lose it in Surrey, its forever gone in Surrey.

Passport Photos, the bane of my existence. It is required by Passport Canada that you cannot have a lot of things, two things that get me, and keep me coming back for more are:

•There must be no reflection or glare on the face or glasses.
Interpretation: wear lots of powder because I am shiny skinned sister.

•Applicant must show a neutral facial expression (no smiling, mouth closed) and look straight at the camera.
Interpretation: this is where my unfortunate problem comes into play.

I have this thing, I lovingly call it the Snaggle Tooth Syndrome. My teeth are not straight. We could blame it on my incessant thumb-sucking as a child, or my under bite, or extremely small palate, or the crappy orthodontist that put braces on me twice, and made me wear both types of headgear, and a mouthpiece that looked like I was ready to box in the ring. In pictures, my teeth look great from a distance, up close, not so good. I have this thing, where if you catch me in mid-smile, my lip seems to catch on my tooth, my Loving Snaggle Tooth!

Here are some pics of it in action.

I couldn’t crop out Jackson, as he was so adorable in the tux.

The reason I need shots straight on, you can detect the bucktoothness of it slightly here. I am probably the only one who prays that their front teeth get knocked out surfing, so I could get me some of those darn veneers.

The rest are lovingly DELETED from existence.

A miracle happened this weekend. The new dentist we went to told me that I would be a perfect candidate for invisalign, I haven’t been the perfect candidate for anything, so I was overjoyed!

I gave him my ortho-sob-story, stuff in my mouth since I was four, my Dad having to turn a key every night to expand the apparatus in my upper palate, numerous molds that breathing thru my nose and not gagging is my specialty (get you mind out of the gutter Kathy), braces twice, full head and neck gear, and a retainer/mould that could double as a mouth guard in boxing.

I seriously said, please don’t lie to me, he assured me it would work in 12 months and that I would have to commit to wearing a retainer every night, forever.

As long as I FOREVER never had the Snaggle Tooth, I am so in.

The consult is next week, let’s hope it’s cheaper than a Toyota Yaris!


  1. NaomiTanakaJesson says:

    Yes I tried to find the ugliest and tackiest one, do you like my choice?!

Speak Your Mind